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John D'arcy

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Guess who has the upper hand NOW? [23 Apr 2004|09:00am]
[ mood | jubilant ]

I would like to inform everyone that this is the real johnnythunda and I finally got back into my Hotmail and LJ accounts thanks to technology that the dumbasses who stole them from me in the first place CLEARLY had no idea existed.

I may or may not use this journal anymore, but I just wanted everyone to know that I'm back, and I myself will apologize for what Terra and Jessica did with my journals, because I know there's no way in hell they would ever do it.

I still love you all, and you should all learn from my experience that justice always prevails. Always. :)

PS - Did you know that I'm a queer with a small cock and I like to use women, etc? Cuz I sure as hell didn't. Hmm. News to me. :-D

PPS - I think it's so sad that someone would feel the need to take time to go into my journal, post stupid shit that I said long ago, and then proceed to delete most all my entries up until May 2003. That's...pathetic, really.


1 memory | close your eyes

hey peoplez [01 Nov 2001|01:22pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

hiya....well tomorrow's it.
i'm leaving around 6 in the morning cuz fuck it, i don't wanna leave when my parents are up to shit on me...
so if i don't write in here for a while, it's cuz i'm in New York looking for an apartment :-)
right now i'm waiting till i can catch the bus downtown to get the money...that should be cool.
so anyway that's about it for now but i'll write more later today probably.
peace and love,

close your eyes

sfhgfhgfsdjkghj!!!!! [31 Oct 2001|10:33pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

i'm falling asleep here because of my wonmderfnul friends tylenol PM....oh shit i messed that up good. i meant wonderful.
anyway things are going good...no roadblocks yet about frifday. only th fact i can only stay at nesse's only till sunday and then i'll have yo stay in a motel if ruby can';t finda a place by then.
i think it'll all be good however.
anyway i'm bored so if you're reading this and you get borewd i'm sorry. and i cant type for shit either.
evreyone's signing off AOL and no one wantws to talk tyo me. perhaps it's cuz i can't hardly see and i'm falling asleep and i'm acting like a moron who jusr had a huge turkey sandwich which was mmm mmm good.
tonight was halloween and no one tricked or treated at my house this eberning evening that is.
you knows whats fucked? is how you ake those stupid shits tylenol thingys and it heightens your sense of touch. it's kidna cool.
anyway i'm gonna go ebfor i break my gooodamn computer ok? lotsa love and peace to you all

close your eyes

[ mood | happy ]

about the title...don't ask
i'm in a good mood for some weird reason...possibly cuz...i love denisse?
i'm watching armageddon, although i don't think that counts for any happiness haha...cleaning my room...i took 4 tylenol PMs...(maybe i'm happy cuz of that too)
anyway i'm gonna go for now but i'll try to write again before i go to bed...
love, peace and chickin grease,

close your eyes

waiting... [28 Oct 2001|05:48pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

lol some strange person is sending me their picture and it's taking like a 1/2 hour to get it hahahahahahaha

close your eyes

damn i've written alot today i should shut up haha [28 Oct 2001|09:32am]
[ mood | confused ]

i've written like...7 entries today...oh well that's what happens to people when they're having the most boringest day in their life.
you people should really go visit my website ok?

ok this is something i've been thinking of all day...since today is church day and all...why is so much of religion like a S&M thing? like..ok..i saw this song or something by some christian dude who was saying..."to be a better christian, i need to suffer pain" then they go on and on about how they feel joy and love from God...how does getting nothing but pain and sorrow in your life make you a happier joyful person? it makes no sense to me. it's like i saw this news report "christians killed in pakistan" about some dudes who came in a church and massacred like a bunch of churchgoers because they were christians...no offence but is that supposed to make people want to become christian? shoudn't something that claims to give peace and love to you not come with such a lame side effect as like..being killed? it's just my opinion but i don't think christians and other religions should think that in order to be happy, they have to hurt. it's just weird.

anyway that's my thoughts. watch me write like 3 more entries before the day is over haha...till then, peace and love 2 u

close your eyes

i found this and filled it out...don't comment. [28 Oct 2001|09:24am]
[ mood | giggly ]

Once upon a time, there was a awsome, rad girl named Ruby. Everyone loved Ruby, but that didn't matter. You see she was erect and in love with John, who happens to hate erect girls. Ruby tried very hard not to be erect. She even tried fucking. But that didn't work.

Then one day while fingering through a very thin Massachusetts, she poked upon a stupid koala. This stupid koala spoke to Ruby and said, "If you can answer my riddle I will grant you a wish."

Well Ruby licked. And she stupidly said, "What is your riddle, gay koala?"

The koala replied, "If a zebra has a testicle, how many penises does it suck?"

Ruby thought about the riddle and answered, "15!"

The koala began fondling, than it smacked, and turned into a landmine locator. The landmine locator kissed and said, "You are correct! You turned this old koala into back into a handsome landmine locator. What is your wish?"

Ruby was so happy! She knew exactly what she wanted, "I don't want to be erect any more! That way John will fall in love with me."

The landmine locator then fingered his stupid dildo and Ruby was no longer erect! She left the Massachusetts to find John. When she did, she found him touching Denisse, the tubular girl from Los Angeles. And John and Denisse lived hungrily ever after. Ruby, on the other hand, died a sucky spinster.

The end.

close your eyes

this is the song that never ends... [28 Oct 2001|08:10am]
[ mood | okay ]

holy crap that song really is addictive...
i'm up early today cuz of daylight savings...or daylight savings being over or whatever the hell it is now...

i'm the blackest kid in my entire town...that's just sad man. everyone in my town is so damn white and there's a real tiny amount of what most would entitle the 'minority'...black, hispanic, etc. i find that i get along better with the 'minority' more often because they don't have the prejudice in them that most white people seem to have. even my father is like that :-( he sucks.

i'm getting all my shit taken care of for friday and i just hope it all goes down like i want it to. haha i had a dream last night that i was doing this and i get in the cab for boston and my dad is driving and he turns the cab around and i started screaming "I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!! YOU STUPID FUCK!!!! OH MY GOD I HATE YOU!!!!" and running around my lawn like a chicken with its head cut off...hmm i'm weird.

i'm stealing that tabitha king book from the library :-) and taking it to NY with me. it's my favorite book and hot damn...i got it for free!! yay!! hehehehehehe that's the book that inspired me to write mine...which by the way is gonna be entitled "Like A Poet".

I'll write more then kk? love peace and chicken grease to you all

close your eyes

my december [28 Oct 2001|07:44am]
[ mood | mellow ]

this is my december...
this is my time of the year...
this is my december...
this is all so clear...

this is my december...
this is my snow covered home...
this is my december...
this is me alone...

(and i) just wish that i didn't feel that there was something i missed...
(and i) take back all the things i said to make you feel like this...
(and i) just wish that i didn't feel that there was something i missed...
(and i) take back all the things i said to make you feel like this...

and i'd give it all away...
just to have somewhere to go to...
give it all away...
to have someone to come home to...

this is my december...
this is my snow covered dream...
this is me pretending...
this is all i need...

(and i) just wish that i didn't feel that there was something i missed...
(and i) take back all the things i said to make you feel like this...
(and i) just wish that i didn't feel that there was something i missed...
(and i) take back all the things i said to make you feel like this...

and i'd give it all away...
just to have somwehere to go to...
give it all away...
to have someone to come home to...

this is my december...
this is my time of the year...
this is my december...
this is all so clear...

i'd give it all away...
just to have somewhere to go to...
give it all away...
to have someone to come to...
give it all away...
just to have somewhere to go to...
give it all away...
to have someone to come home to...

close your eyes

yo yo yo [27 Oct 2001|10:46am]
[ mood | high ]

la la la i'm listening to eminem and planning for this coming friday....6 days till i leave yo and i'm psyched. all i got to do is clean up the room and shit and get the shit together and get the money and leave the 500 for the phone.. hehe
be back lata...

close your eyes

hey hey hey [26 Oct 2001|11:30am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

i'm pissed at everything and need to leave. yeah yeah i know you've heard this a million times from me before but i'm finally just SICK of such a boring life and nothing to stay here for so this weekend if i can i'm outta here.
sorry for agravating everyone but i guess i just needed to get my thoughts straight.
peace and love,

close your eyes

ok this is almost it... [24 Oct 2001|10:24am]
[ mood | energetic ]

hey hey....if i can just get my parents to leave today, i can get on the bus and go to the bank to find if i can get the money.
i've had enough of worrying what people think of me and never giving any credit to myself or doing anything for ME.
so today i'm gonna jack the closet thing and get the bankbook...i hope it works cuz i'm just sick of everything around here.
my mom was trying to discourage me from everything last night, telling me i can't survive on my own and that me and denisse won't last and all sorts of other bullshit i'm sick of.
oh looky here comes my dad to try to be nice to me...wow he's givin me money lol a $20...he can't be THAT bad...no wait..he can.
see...my dad has extreme control issues. if i go off somewhere he feels there's a responsibility on his part to make sure i'm ok and nothing happens when he knows damn well i'm 18 and can take care of myself. so if i want to go live somewhere else, it's just the same as if i went to get a place in boston for christ's sake.
anyway i like this live journal shit...i can vent to it and other people can hopefully see it and learn from it maybe. :-)
so i'll write later...
peace and love to you all

close your eyes

holy mama will it ever end [24 Oct 2001|02:53am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

oh my lordy...my fucking father took the bankbook with him when he went out this afternoon and now i'm down at the rockport pubic library cuz i'm sick of home. many people have been telling me i should get the fuck out of here and go live with her and i think they're right. all i have to do is go there, stay with her and ruby for a few days, find a goddamn place and move y'know? and as for my phone bill i can take $500 out of the $6753 and pay it for god's sake. fuck it i'm outta here finally cuz i'm sick of shit.
wish me lotsa luck and stuff :-)
love as always,

close your eyes

untitled [23 Oct 2001|11:43am]
change of pace
change of face
sometimes i need to fall
from god's good grace
if i break the cycle
will it fall apart
sometimes i don't
know where to start
close your eyes

liliteralily (don't ask) [23 Oct 2001|11:21am]
[ mood | awake ]

last night i talked to ruby and denisse for a long time, then after i got off, i watched some of pretty woman and went to sleep...i had a huge long dream and denisse was in it. then i woke up at 5 AM and went back to sleep, had another dream, went BACK to sleep, had yet ANOTHER friggin' dream and went back to sleep. then i woke up around 10-something. i think denisse was in 2 out of the 3 dreams...i love her so very much. :-*
nothing has happened much today cuz i've only been up an hour and a half and nothing much exciting happens to me anyway hahaha hehehe but today i want to see about that damn money!! i'm taking the bankbook when i go out to get coffee. wish me luck (again hehe) but seriously, i miss denisse more than i can say and i need to leave here so i can go be with her.
right now however, i'm in a good mood and kinda bouncing in my chair to my reel big fish hehe.
anyway i'll write more lata...till then keep it real...
love, ~john~

close your eyes

fuck that [22 Oct 2001|08:56pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

i'm sick of people trying to tell me i'm supposed to be something i'm not. what if i wanna dress a certain way or not dress a certain way? what if i wanna go and do something that people think i won't succeed at? what if i wanna be myself when they don't want me to be? well i'm sure as hell not gonna let that happen anymore because people have intimidated me and walked on me and all that shit throughout my whole life. i'm sick of being around people who think that to be recognized you have to change and be something you're not. that's bullshit. if i wanna wear something that doesn't look trendy and i walk down the street getting dirty looks or insults, then that's their problem not mine. they just got too much time on their hands and nothing better to do than to make fun of someone who's not like them or doesn't go by a certain trend. fuck that. i'm me and i'm not gonna change for someone just to be accepted. that's my ranting for today and i hope you got something from it.
love, ~john~

close your eyes

scott's a dork... [22 Oct 2001|11:17am]
[ mood | blah ]

holy cow dude...
things couldn't be more boring...i have writers block, i'm up here with my mom working in the next room, i have no door on my room, there's a piece of toast sitting next to me and i'm actually WATCHING it get stale dammit!!!!!
i'm listening to music however so that's my saving grace hehe.
today's the big day...wish me luck...only like 2 people know what i'm talking about so the rest of you will have to find out later.
i need coffee i'm not buzzin here and it's taking me too long to type this.
i hear napster is going back up soon and that's a good thing since i can't get on morpheus or limewire because while the rest of you people have pentium or pc or dell or gateway computers, i'm stuck here with my shitty imac (indigo blue color) and a 56k connection downloading songs for 45 minutes that are only 1.6 MB...did you understand what i just said? no? that's good cuz i didn't either.
anyway i'll write more later.
love always,

close your eyes

darkened [22 Oct 2001|09:06am]
darkened room
feeling nothing but alone
and empty
without you
i feel nothing but a hole
inside me
if you were here
then i would wrap my arms
around you
keep you near
and i would make a wish
to stay like that
in a darkened room
with you
close your eyes

sumbitch [21 Oct 2001|08:23am]
[ mood | weird ]

man oh man my room looks so clean...i cleaned it all up, made my bed, fixed the shit up and everything looks great.
today was entirely boring like many sundays are...i sat at home and did stoopide shit but hey i talked to nesse alot so it's good.
i'm gonna miss my room sometimes when i'm gone but i don't like this town cuz there's nothing here for me to stay for.
it's all people giving me shit and treating me like shit and making me eat their shit and i don't want that anymore.
so that's why i'm outta here soon. i hope. *crosses fingers*
well i'm out cuz i'm gonna watch some tv.
peace and love,

close your eyes

gosh-a-rooty-toot-toot [19 Oct 2001|11:50pm]
[ mood | loved ]

yeah yeah i know that's a gay headline but hey gimme a break i'm in a good mood.
i'm talking to the one person i love more than anything and i'm eating cheese puffs...how more perfect can it get? well actually denisse could be here eating them with me...*sniffles* oh and i took 3 tylenol PMs so i'm feeling no pain right? right? hehe
it's so cool when you love someone with all your heart, but there are times when it seems as though you love them even deeper than that. it's like your heart is opening a little bit to let an extra bit of love in and swim through your body and it's wonderful. however, i miss denisse like crazy and i wish i was with her :-( but i will be soon.
anyway i bought Significant Other by limp bizkit today when i went to mystery train. that cd kicks ass just like it did when i first heard it in '99 hehe...
anyway that's about it. i'm tired so i'ma go talk to denisse more. peace and love to all of you. ~john~

close your eyes

i don't know about this any longer... [18 Oct 2001|07:15am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

my mother is listening to a song with the most annoying guitar and piano i've ever heard even tho that sounds disrespectful, these people are just mangling the instruments.
i miss denisse.
i had coffee and stuff today.
that's about it seriously.
i'll write again later if i feel like it.

close your eyes

a lovely day for an exorcism [16 Oct 2001|10:48am]
[ mood | moody ]

i had the creepiest dream last night...see, about a year ago we bought a video camera off this dude who lives in the woods with his wife and mother down the road from us (don't ask). everything was cool and all until the guy, who is like a schizo-compulsive or some shit, threatened several people downtown and was arrested. he got released and then tried to kill someone else, so he went back to prison and to a mental institution, where he is now. but last night i dreamed he came back to my house and tried to get in and kill me and my family, and no matter where i was, he knew. it was really scary, and i'm not scared by many dreams. i woke up with my heart beating faster than it ever had. i'm all good now, but i'm hoping it was only a dream dammit cuz that dude was freaky.
i'll write later.

close your eyes

i can't feel my heartbeat anymore..since you walked out the door... [15 Oct 2001|06:15am]
[ mood | lonely ]

i did basically nothing nada niente zip today there's a bug on my neck. did you ever have a day when nothing goes right and even though maybe you want to kill yourself, you're just TOO tired to even do it? oh well i have those alot. i think i need to see someone about my moodswings. i'm about to seriously hurt one or both of my parents. everything they do pisses me off...not when they're actually nice to me, which is hardly ever, but when they think that just because i'm still living in their house that i'm part of their property. that ended on march 10 2001 when i became 18. oy.
i've decided to start playing piano, because i've been listening to alot of billy joel, elton john and alicia keys recently. watch me start listening to ricky martin and start wearing all leather pants...such a weak minded person i am. ha.
i have a john lennon postcard on my mirror over my desk. it reminds me that i should be free and live for love peace and happiness and fuck how many people get hurt in the process. nahh not the last one. believe me i've learned so much about love in my life, and how some people give it and take it right back, and how some really mean it, although probably 98% of the ones who have told me that were lying.
but it's all in the past now because i have found love and to tell you the truth all the other times i was "in love" i really wasn't because i've never felt this way for someone. and i love you denisse. (yesterday was our 2 month anniversary)
if you're wondering about the line at the top it's a part of a song i wrote once. i don't think my parents would feel that way about me if i walked out the door, unless i left without washing the dishes first haha.
my parents say they have it hard and i have it easy. well, that's one reason i'm moving is to prove that i don't need to 'ease my ass out into the world' to survive.
my book is coming along very well even though it's taking it's damn sweet time to be written. hehe.
well ruby's online so i'm gonna go talk to her. peace and love to you.

close your eyes

daaaaayum [14 Oct 2001|01:15am]
[ mood | tired ]

yeah yeah shut up i know i haven't written in here for a few...i've been busy plottin' an scheming you know wha i'm sayin'?
i got a buncha songs from napster today (YES i still have it surprise surprise...) one of which was a song by linkin park called 'my december' and i gotta tell you it's a beautiful song. it's all about being alone in the middle of winter and wishing you had a place that feels like home, and someone to come home to...that's basically how i felt for the past four years or so...but that's in the past now and life moves on. i'ma happy boy.
i watched SNL with Drew Barrymore and Macy Gray.
so anyway i must go write someting because i can feel a song coming on.
god bless and peace to you all
love, ~john~

close your eyes

cds [11 Oct 2001|04:41am]
[ mood | happy ]

well here i am once again. i bought the "essential billy joel" cd album today and it kicks my ass musically. i wish i could play piano like him. i think once i'm settled in new york i'm gonna take piano lessons or something cuz that would help alot.
i was at the coffee shop getting my usual cappucino and the woman there insulted me again. it doesn't matter, because she insulted my father too and even though she's just playing, it's so nice to see someone do all the work instead of me. ha.
i need new strings for my guitars and they're both horribly out of tune. i miss denisse and i'm going out to get pizza in a few minutes. i need to gain weight dammit. i weigh all of like 140. i should buff up (thanx to kevin-my brother in law- for the inspiration). also i should start a band or something cuz i'm not doing anything with all the songs i've been writing and some of them are damn good.
well i'm going to leave you people alone now and i'll probably write something else in here like around 2 tomorrow morning haha so look forward to that. till then i remain yours! >:O peace...~john~

close your eyes

it's still wednesday fer god's sakes!!! [11 Oct 2001|01:23am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

it still feels like wednesday!! why is there a 'd' in wednesday? the first one i mean. YOU DON'T PRONOUNCE IT!! oh well.
this is what i'm like around 1:30 in the morning.
i'm watching conan o'brian. there's a dude on named loudon wainwright...gee that's not a preppy name. nooo. i wonder if he is related to rufus wainwright. well i'll be a porn star's tampon (?) he IS rufus' father!! mah gawd he has a large head.
i'm gonna move to New York. i also have a piece of gum in my mouth that i've been chewing since midnight and it's annoying. i feel like one of those old prospectors chewing on tobacco. "geeeeee whiz billy bob! go muck out them horses and milk them roosters willyeh? gosh-a-roto-rooter yer a lazy sack o' potatos get off that damned inner net and go rustle up some corn!" or something like that.
anyway i'm out. i'm falling asleep. or am i? i miss denisse. and i love denisse. hey by the way osama bin laden is a pussy. so there.
night night sleep tight (why can't i sleep loose?) and don't let the bed bugs bite. did you know bed bugs are lice? so if you have bed bugs, you have lice and EWW get 'way from me!!! love, ~john~

close your eyes

time [10 Oct 2001|07:37pm]
when i am with you
time stands still
but passes so soon
and when i am without you
time is such a burden
long hours
long days
long nights
and no one to wake up next to
if only i could catch a train
hail a cab
ride a bicycle
just to be with you
i would in a second
because you are who i love
and love is timeless
close your eyes

my weird obsession with chex mix™ [10 Oct 2001|04:55pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

ok...i've been having strange cravings for Chex Mix recently. i wouldn't have thought in a million years i'd be addicted to a food with the letter X in it because it sounds like xanitol or xerox or something like that.
also i've been drinking an amazingly large amount of Mountain Dew:Code Red soda (the new cherry flavored one) i have no chance at having children now. i have come to the conclusion that my sperm count will drop drastically, enabling me to have unprotected sex as much as i wish and never worry about unwanted pregnancys. so there.
nesse's reading my prologue now so i'm worried that she won't like it...
well i have to go now and i'll talk to you all later. or will i? you'll have to wait and see.

close your eyes

agggh [10 Oct 2001|12:14pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

i love how they say "john has no friends" on the "friends" section above...that boosts my self esteem level boy howdy.

close your eyes

my small town-a poem [10 Oct 2001|12:13pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

i look around my small town
people gossiping, people talking
everyone points at me
me with my mocha cappucino
so rich and frothy
oh yeah
oh yes
i look at the people in my small town
trying to be something they will never be
everyone pointing at each other
with their latte double mochacino
and i realize
i will never be like them
and their fancy caffeinated beverage
oh yeah
oh yes
oh shit
i had an accident
~john darcy~

close your eyes

insomniac's field trip [10 Oct 2001|11:02am]
[ mood | groggy ]

i wish to god i could sleep better at night. it seems the only places i sleep well is when i'm not here at home. it's weird.

and as i sit here devouring a vanilla chocolate cookie of some sort i am reminded of Forrest Gump and when he said "life is like a box of cookies...you never know when you eat them and when the phone might ring."
wise man, that Forrest Gump.

so now we have a holy war being raged against us eh? fun fun fun. how the fuck is a war holy? those morons.

anyway it's early now so i think i shall go and write you more later. goodbye and have fun.

close your eyes

i hate news channels [09 Oct 2001|11:06am]
[ mood | loved ]

can they ever stop showing the damn planes hitting the Trade Centers? god that's gotten played more than Lady Marmalade last year, and that song wasn't half as annoying as this! people died dammit and they replay it like it's a perfect pass in football or something.

anyway...i've done nothing but lounge about all day in my unmentionables listening to various songs, playing guitar, watching Live With Regis and Kelly and talking on the phone. joy of joyest joys, add more to my phone bill willya Verizon? i gotta find a way to lower my rates or some shit cuz I LOVE talking on the phone. i'm like a 15 year old girl when it comes to that.

i'm still writing my book...i have my two evaluators checking it out to see if they like it and so far the answer is "yes". the book should be in stores when it is in stores. do not hold your breath. as a matter of fact don't hold anything.

i talked to that keychain lizard Ian O'Connor today...i don't know what to do with the child. he needs a woman. poor thing.

tonight I heard "99 LuftBallons" for the first time in years, aside from the "99 Red Balloons" english version by Goldfinger (which kicks ass by the way) Denisse was playing the original 1980s version and it's damn funny to think that only like 12 years ago someone could go around singing something about war in German no less and not get their ass kicked.

well enough of my ramblings...go and be free...masturbate and frolic in the meadows or whatever you youngsters do these days. peace love and incest...no wait incense...haha love, ~john~

close your eyes

AOL is suckie!!!!! [09 Oct 2001|08:54am]
[ mood | horny ]

AOL fucking sucks...
i can't even talk to my girlfriend and that pisses me off dude.

close your eyes

Wow what a long morning.... [04 Aug 2001|10:39am]
Ok this is new to me and I've never used this service before. :-) Anyway, it's been a long morning..I went to bed last night at 12:30 and woke up at 1 this morning so you can see my night wasn't very long. Everything is confusing in life and I would love to find an explaination to it all. Love is confusing...family is confusing...I guess that's what it's all about. Anyway I have some more work to do so I'll write more later. Peace, Love and Rock & Roll, John
close your eyes

First Time [04 Aug 2001|03:28am]
Hey I'm writing in here the first time so hi I'm John check my profile and I'll see ya around...Peace Love and Rock & Roll
close your eyes

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